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The Final: A post-mortem

16/3/2012

 
In front of a packed house at the Orfeum on Wednesday night, the first of our finalists, Gerard Lucy, shared with us some memories of early Hungarian language lessons prompted by the discovery of an unmarked blue folder in a filing cabinet in his office. He set the standard as this was the first time in the competition that a 10 appeared in scoring for a first contestant. Last-minute contender Pat Loughran took us on a tour of building sites and camogie pitches while comparing Irish Catholic and Protestant views on sex. Patrick McMenamin used his five minutes to lay out his manifesto in the run-up to a fictious Mayoral election. Is Budapest ready for a Scottish mayor in a kilt? Martin Zdarek shared the intimate details of his foray into Internet dating when he finally met his 85-year-old date after four years of emailing. Tim O'Sullivan gave a colourful account of a train journey to Romania which he shared with a backpacker he had nearly killed in Miami when she was 14. Yes, strange things come to light at the Gift of the Gab.

Going into the impromptu round, Patrick had a narrow lead over Martin. For Tim, the audience had to choose between The Dogs Bollox and How do you know you've been in Hungary too long. They opted for the latter. You know you've been in Hungary too long when you spend all day at the post office moving from window to window and it doesn't annoy you! Next up, Pat drew a tough pair - Life before smart phones and Spring, the sap is rising. The audience somewhat unenthusiastically opted for the first as the best of a bad lot - rules are rules! Gerard got the rather boring subject of football which the audience spurned in favour of Who would play Gerard a in a movie. Someone suggested George Clooney and was advised to go to Specsavers! Gerard reckoned he'd give the job to Robin Williams. The jury is still out. Martin stuck with his first draw - why do men prefer skinny women - and had the audience in stitches at his antics. Finally, Pat, the wannabe mayor, had to choose between why girls hate football and grandma vs chess players.  The audience went for girls and football and, as Patrick explained, it's simple - girls hate football because they can't get a Sunday roast on Monday..... You had to be there.

We had our second tie-break of the season with Martin and Patrick in close contention. Their subject: What do women want? I missed Patrick's account but believe that the sight of a jock removing his jocks on stage to show just exactly what those boys wear under their kilts was the punchline to a dramatic understanding of the fairer sex. Martin 'hey heyed' us through some questionnable dance moves and the thought of being 'strangely attracted' to this on-stage character crossed many a mind.

At the end of the day though - with two points in it - the man from Scotland took home the cup! Patrick McMenamin is the 2012 Gift of the Gab champion in Budapest.

Am still doing the math so more will follow when I figure out the final total. Thanks to all who took part on Wednesday. And thanks, too, to the judges - Gaston, Emese, Valerie, Brian and the democratic Czech Republic. 'Twas a great night...


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