In front of a packed house at the Orfeum on Wednesday night, the first of our finalists, Gerard Lucy, shared with us some memories of early Hungarian language lessons prompted by the discovery of an unmarked blue folder in a filing cabinet in his office. He set the standard as this was the first time in the competition that a 10 appeared in scoring for a first contestant. Last-minute contender Pat Loughran took us on a tour of building sites and camogie pitches while comparing Irish Catholic and Protestant views on sex. Patrick McMenamin used his five minutes to lay out his manifesto in the run-up to a fictious Mayoral election. Is Budapest ready for a Scottish mayor in a kilt? Martin Zdarek shared the intimate details of his foray into Internet dating when he finally met his 85-year-old date after four years of emailing. Tim O'Sullivan gave a colourful account of a train journey to Romania which he shared with a backpacker he had nearly killed in Miami when she was 14. Yes, strange things come to light at the Gift of the Gab.

Going into the impromptu round, Patrick had a narrow lead over Martin. For Tim, the audience had to choose between The Dogs Bollox and How do you know you've been in Hungary too long. They opted for the latter. You know you've been in Hungary too long when you spend all day at the post office moving from window to window and it doesn't annoy you! Next up, Pat drew a tough pair - Life before smart phones and Spring, the sap is rising. The audience somewhat unenthusiastically opted for the first as the best of a bad lot - rules are rules! Gerard got the rather boring subject of football which the audience spurned in favour of Who would play Gerard a in a movie. Someone suggested George Clooney and was advised to go to Specsavers! Gerard reckoned he'd give the job to Robin Williams. The jury is still out. Martin stuck with his first draw - why do men prefer skinny women - and had the audience in stitches at his antics. Finally, Pat, the wannabe mayor, had to choose between why girls hate football and grandma vs chess players.  The audience went for girls and football and, as Patrick explained, it's simple - girls hate football because they can't get a Sunday roast on Monday..... You had to be there.

We had our second tie-break of the season with Martin and Patrick in close contention. Their subject: What do women want? I missed Patrick's account but believe that the sight of a jock removing his jocks on stage to show just exactly what those boys wear under their kilts was the punchline to a dramatic understanding of the fairer sex. Martin 'hey heyed' us through some questionnable dance moves and the thought of being 'strangely attracted' to this on-stage character crossed many a mind.

At the end of the day though - with two points in it - the man from Scotland took home the cup! Patrick McMenamin is the 2012 Gift of the Gab champion in Budapest.

Am still doing the math so more will follow when I figure out the final total. Thanks to all who took part on Wednesday. And thanks, too, to the judges - Gaston, Emese, Valerie, Brian and the democratic Czech Republic. 'Twas a great night...

Due to a last-minute cancellation, and thanks to my angel of mercy, the man who made something of Michael Jackson's glove will be on stage again this evening. Pat Loughran, our only tie-break competitor this season, will take the stage in place of Julian Ingram. You'll remember something similar happened (though not so last-minute) in the first GOTG when tie-breaker Steven Nelson stood in for heat winner Peter Fekete.

Doors open tonight at 6.30pm for those who'd like to get something to eat beforehand. The show itself starts at 8pm. See you all there.

The Irish Wheelchair Association has been in contact with Jack Doyle's and has asked that the Irish in Budapest can see what we can do to help their St Patrick's Day cause. Each year they sell their Angel Pins for €2.00 with all proceeds going to the IWA. They're cuter than all git out (God only knows there what American southernism just came from!). Anyway, pop a €2 coin in your pocket when you come along to the GOTG final on Wednesday and buy your pin there (I really really hope you've booked your table with the Orfeum by now!) If you're all out of euro, then it'll be 600 huf. Cheap at half the price. They make great St Patrick's Day 'bits of green' and a good cause is a good cause.

See ye all on Wednesday!

I've just been down to the Orfeum to buy my ticket (yes, even I have to buy one!) and tickets are going fast. We're limited to 140 places so call them soon to reserve your table. We're not yet appearing on their website so don't worry if you don't see us listed. Just pick up the phone and call. For details see www.orfeumclub.hu

The inimitable Mzs Bozo and Zoller are in full swing and everything appears to be under control (touch wood). We have the speakers, the scorekeeper, some great prizes, some excellent music , and a very supportive audience. What a great start to the St Patrick's Festival!

A huge thanks to those who have sponsored prizes for the final... so far we have Granthill Telecom Solutions, Erika Nash, Fox Auto Rent, Des and Judy Nix, Jameson, Guinness, Dez O'Connell, Hunters Harvest Wines and the IHBC...you're all angels! I say 'so far' because I know there are more of you out there just ready, willing and able to support this great cause. Just drop me an email at gotg@speechslam.com. And we are working with Daniel at the Orphange to track down a suitable bed for Norbert. Don't forget to reserve your table through the Orpheum! See ya'll next Wednesday.

It's hard to believe that we're nearing the final - seems like only yesterday that I was roping in Tim O'Sullivan to participate in Round I. As you know, we're heading for the Orfeum for the grand occasion and plan a night full of entertainment and surprises. As the next day (March 15) is a holiday, we figured that you might want to party on after the speeches have finished and the winner has been crowned so THE JOKERS will be on stage with some great music and to tempt those budding singers amongst you to join them in a few songs. It'll be open mic for anyone who wants to be able to tell their mates that they 'played the Orfeum in Budapest'. Lots of bragging rights in that little sentence.

The event will be seated so tickets are limited. When you book your tickets you will also book your table. The gig itself will start at 8pm and you'll be able to come along earlier to eat. We'll have full table service throughout  - for those of you who haven't seen this place, you're in for quite the experience.

We've raised more than 400 000 huf so far and our aim is to put a minimum of 600 000 in the bank towards that bed for Norbert. Tickets for the final are 2000 ft each and need to be booked in advance. You can book them directly through the Orfeum website or buy from their box office any evening from 4pm onwards.  We'll be working with them this weekend and booking should be fully operational by Monday. Looking forward to your continued support and to seeing you there on March 14.

It was 7.25pm. I had two speakers in the house and about 35 people in the bar. A mild panic was in danger of spilling over into full-blown hysteria. Blame it on the snow. Although we had a slow start last night, the 80 or so people at Smiley's got to see a full complement of speakers.

First up was Ambassador John Deady - a last-minute replacement for Harry Harron. Despite the short notice, he treated us to a  lovely account of the magic of Guinness and the importance of adding the famous ingredient - Liffey water. A lasting memory will be himself eating his sandwiches in school while drinking a heady mixture of guinness, milk and sugar! Next we went to Rome with Norwegian Denise Olimb who shared her story of how she went to the Pontiff's city on a romantic weekend and found it closed. Damn snow! Martin Zdarek gave a hilarious account of what the Czech mean by being 'happy as a turtle'. True cominc genius. Canadian Maja B shared the angst her name has caused her; she left us with a memorable descriptive of a teacher: she looked like a witch and dressed like a whore. Last up, Hans Peterson entertained us with his memories of a past love - Carolina - and the things men do to get a girl to go for a coffee. Why does this sort of thing never happen to me?

Going into the second half, Maja had to choose between Best night in Budapest  and How to behave on a first date. No prizes for guessing which the audience picked. After her account of speed dating, I think I'll stay well clear of it. For Denise, the audience had to choose between Why would anyone want to get to the final of the GOTG  and Office injuries.  They chose the latter. A soon-to-be doctor, Denise gave us an insight into how doctors feel about their patients. It explained so much - who would have thought that doctors were human,too. Hans's choices were If alcohol were invented today, would it be legal? and How to break-up. The audience was in a particularly voyeuristic mood and wanted to dirt on break-up, which is something Hans has never had to do, apparently. Instead, he gave the ladies three pieces of valuable advice. 1. Don't just disappear. 2. Don't do it by letter or e-mail. 3. Don't send your mother to do it for you. Ambassador Deady struck lucky with his choice of Hungarian Palinka. Having waxed poetically about guinness in the first half, he could now do likewise on palinka. And he did. From the jaw-locking numbness to the rubbery-leg feeling induced by the fruit brandy, he captured it all. Martin rounded off the evening with an account of How to propose badly. Advice for the men out there contemplating popping the question: don't do it on the frozen Danube!

Martin's comic genuis won the night. Watch out for this man - he's going places. He was a happy little turtle wandering home with his bottle of Tullamore Dew (kindly sponsored by GrantHill Telecomm Solutions) and his trophy (sponsored by the Fun Palace). He'll join our other finalists on 14 March at the Orfeum to see who will win the coveted title.

Thanks to Jeremy, Kath, Csilla, and Steve (our resident photographer) for their help on the night. And to Kenny and Terry at Smiley's for hosting this season's qualifying rounds. Thanks to judges Lisa, Matt, Gearoid, Rupert and Amanda. But most of all, thanks to you for braving the elements and for turning up on the night. We have tipped the 400,000 mark on the fundraising, which is gratifying to see.

Thanks to the negotiation skills of Bozo Zsuzsanna (she belongs in the UN - I've seen her in action!), the Orfeum Music Club has agreed to partner with us to host the March final. To my shame, for as long as I've been in Budapest, and the number of times I have passed the door, I've never noticed it, let alone been inside. It's right beside the Corinthia hotel on the korut. Stepping inside is like taking a trip back to the 1920s. A great space - three bars - good food - and lots of seating. And a 5am closing time :-) Simply perfect for the final of the Gift of the Gab. More details to follow... (Note to self: Send posh frock to the cleaners!)

Where would we be without booze? A lot saner perhaps. A lot healthier, definitely. But sure taken in moderation, it does wonders to oil the cogs of conversation. It's when we over-indulge that we run into problems. Perhaps drinking a dram of whiskey from the GOTG cup doesn't yet rate with sipp

Good news for the soon-to-be-winner of Round V. The bottle in February will be sponsored by GrantHill Telecom Solutions, a local company that provides a one-stop source for managing the entire lifecycle of wireless network. It provides complete solutions that serve the traditional network, third and fourth generation technologies, triple-play (voice, data, and services) and specialized applications for microwave communications. Way over my head but then lucky for them, I don't work there! Thanks very much, young Malcolm.

If you've not had a chance to sponsor a round, don't worry! We will gladly accept tombola prizes for the final in March. Remember... the aim is to raise as much money as possible for the orphanage....and to be able to get that bed for Norbert. And if we get some really good prizes - we might just get ourselves an auctioneer and have some fun!